Stupid Dogs!

Meow!

Welcome to my blog, everyone! My name is Cleocatra. I'm a cute, cuddly cat from Eugene, OR. Here's a photo of me sleeping--something I'm an expert at doing:

I don't always sleep, though. Sometimes I eat or poop, but never at the same time, of course. That's something a dog would do. Stupid dogs!

Occasionally, I get suckered into doing other things:

I love playing dress-up. I also love taking baths. That was sarcasm. I thought I needed to clear that up in case any "dog people" were reading. Stupid dogs!

Here's a picture of the people that I make feed me and pet me and scratch my belly and clean up my poop:

This picture was taken on their wedding day. Those bastards left me with some lame-ass house-sitter for over a week! If that wasn't bad enough, when they came home, they stayed for a few days and then left again for two more weeks! Can you believe that? They went to where that big, scary, white, fluffy dog lives:

What kind of an idiot thinks it's a good idea to stand on a rock? You don't see too many cats on leashes, do you?

Stupid dogs, always running around smelling each other's butts!

Take that hyper nut case dog from across the street named Rocky. He always gets loose and comes into my house and eats all my food whenever anyone opens the door. That freak show needs a dose of doggy Valium, stat.

Lately, I've been having this recurring dream that I grow to be 50 feet tall and walk down the street on my hind legs breathing fire and devouring buildings:

I bet dogs wouldn't mess with me then. And I probably wouldn't be scared of cars anymore--they'd be scared of me. But I wouldn't chase the cars like a stupid dog.

Stupid dogs! They think they're so great just because they aren't afraid to go into the water:

But then again, they're only doing it to chase a stupid ball. What a bunch of butt-sniffing morons. And you can't fool me, I know you're not reading anything, stupid dog:

Nice try, though. Still, as bad as dogs are, sometimes they do something really cool:

He still looks like an idiot doing it. But who knows, if a dog can do something cool, maybe there's hope for humans.

Nah.

Well, all this typing has made me sleepy. I think I'll go take another nap. Until next time.

Cleocatra.