Kitty Porn

Meow!

I can't believe the smut on the Internet:


Some cats will look at anything to get a thrill. Perverts.

Cleocatra

Lots of Pictures of Me but No Stupid Dogs!

Meow!

The guy who feeds me and pets me and lets me in and out of the house finally figured out how to post pictures from his camera phone online. So here are some:

Let go of me and let me in the house. I'm starving!


I know I look ridiculous here, but there was a moth flying around. What do you expect?


Damn, I look good. Me-ow!


If you don't get that camera phone out of my face, I'll puncture your scrotum with my freshly sharpened claws!


It's about time someone fed me. Hey dummy, the bowl is turned the wrong way. What do I look like, a dog? When will humans learn how to properly serve food? You'd think they'd be a bit more grateful after all the mice and birds I leave on the front porch for them.


Sour Cream! That's what I'm talking about. Why can't they just feed me sour cream, cheese, and ranch dressing all the time? Screw "Friskies".


Selfish bastards, always keeping the good stuff to yourselves. I'll show you. Hope you like your dishes disinfected with cat saliva.


Oh, all that eating made me tired. The humans here actually have the nerve to try to sit on my couch sometimes. Why can't they get their own couch?


I can sleep anywhere. On the old fold-up couch facing a basket...


...or the other way around.


Thanks for putting all these nice, clean clothes in this laundry basket for me to sleep on. That will teach you to put off folding them!


Think you're going somewhere? Well you'll have a tough time packing this suitcase with me in it! I guess you'll have to stay home and feed me. Bring me cheese, and make it snappy!


Hey you on the couch, don't you dare move and disturb my sleep.


This is comfy! You don't mind my butt in your face, right?


That's it--as soon as you let me out of this blanket, I'm going straight for your crotch.

Whew, all this blogging has worn me out. I'm off to demand some cheese and then find someone to sleep on.

Cleocatra.

Dogs That Are Stupid!

Meow!



Just thought I'd keep you up to date about the status of our enemy. He's lazy and he's a bit dumb. Stupid dogs!

Still, humans seem to like him for some reason. I think it has something to do with him wearing a hat, though that hasn't been confirmed. You'd think that his wearing a hat would alert people as to how stupid he actually is, but for some reason he can get away with it. I hate dogs!

I'm going to investigate this further. But first, it's nap time.

Cleocatra

Stupid Dogs That Are Stupid!

Buck is back fighting the good fight:


Link.

Meow.

Dogs Are Stupid!

Buck is my hero:
Link.

Meow.

Stupid Dogs!

Meow!

Welcome to my blog, everyone! My name is Cleocatra. I'm a cute, cuddly cat from Eugene, OR. Here's a photo of me sleeping--something I'm an expert at doing:

I don't always sleep, though. Sometimes I eat or poop, but never at the same time, of course. That's something a dog would do. Stupid dogs!

Occasionally, I get suckered into doing other things:

I love playing dress-up. I also love taking baths. That was sarcasm. I thought I needed to clear that up in case any "dog people" were reading. Stupid dogs!

Here's a picture of the people that I make feed me and pet me and scratch my belly and clean up my poop:

This picture was taken on their wedding day. Those bastards left me with some lame-ass house-sitter for over a week! If that wasn't bad enough, when they came home, they stayed for a few days and then left again for two more weeks! Can you believe that? They went to where that big, scary, white, fluffy dog lives:

What kind of an idiot thinks it's a good idea to stand on a rock? You don't see too many cats on leashes, do you?

Stupid dogs, always running around smelling each other's butts!

Take that hyper nut case dog from across the street named Rocky. He always gets loose and comes into my house and eats all my food whenever anyone opens the door. That freak show needs a dose of doggy Valium, stat.

Lately, I've been having this recurring dream that I grow to be 50 feet tall and walk down the street on my hind legs breathing fire and devouring buildings:

I bet dogs wouldn't mess with me then. And I probably wouldn't be scared of cars anymore--they'd be scared of me. But I wouldn't chase the cars like a stupid dog.

Stupid dogs! They think they're so great just because they aren't afraid to go into the water:

But then again, they're only doing it to chase a stupid ball. What a bunch of butt-sniffing morons. And you can't fool me, I know you're not reading anything, stupid dog:

Nice try, though. Still, as bad as dogs are, sometimes they do something really cool:

He still looks like an idiot doing it. But who knows, if a dog can do something cool, maybe there's hope for humans.

Nah.

Well, all this typing has made me sleepy. I think I'll go take another nap. Until next time.

Cleocatra.